Today I have managed to avoid health. Not only did we not go to the dentist for our "registration" check-up which would have cost us £70 I managed to turn up at the opticians exactly a week late. Astounding.
There are a brand new set of strings on the guitar, our calluses are hard, our postures stooped and my throat is just a little sore; yes gig day has arrived. So now we have the day to knock around the house getting nervous, go to the pub and try not to spend any money, get a bit more nervous, smoke too much, feel ill and then bang 25 minutes of music and it's all over. But for those 25 blissful minutes I can forget about the whole world and concentrate on making noise.
I suppose I should go and prepare my spontaneous witty banter now.
“It’s such a pleasure to be here tonight, to perform our Satanic music for you. I curse your souls from the deepest pits of hell.”
“Here’s one for your mother’s urinary infection.”
“ROY CASTLE!!”
I should have been a red coat.
5 comments:
Sorry not to be at the gig tonight. Matron sends this note:
"He can't come out to play; he's a very naughty boy".
Also I live a long way away. Come and play in Crewe and I might have half a chance of being arsed to come and see you play.
Other key phrases for your possible use:
"We are the saviours of music and I, Lord Stu of Frictionless, am the reincarnation of Jimi Hendrix, all kneel and praise me and get our your extra-large plaster-casting kits"
"We're so great; you're so lucky. Your pathetic lives now have meaning so give us all your money in gratitude for our validation of your previously worthless existences"
and to close with:
"We've been great. You've been adequate. Try harder next time. Goodnight"
See how far you can get into your 25 minutes before someone assassinates you with a gun fashioned from empty beer glasses and salted peanuts.
Good morning... it's now the morning after the gig the ight before - how did it go?
I'm still pissed. Hah ahaha hahahaha ahahaha hhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
We were the bee's knees we were. People clapped and went wooooo and one man told us to get off, but there was only one, so that was a marked improvement. So we are really pleased with ourselves this morning. I think Frictionless Bass will be asleep until tomorrow.
Satori made a pleasant sound as well, but they will probably tell you that themselves given half the chance. It was a wonderful evening on the whole, I'm getting all bleary eyed and shouty just thinking about it.
That lot would have made a decent post for today, wouldn't it? Now I've got to come up with something else...
Congratulations! Nice to hear it went well both for you and for the Satori chaps. Would have been even nicer to hear it first hand... still, there will be other opportunities!
We made a pleasant sound.
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