I read without moving my hips.

I just want to be entertained. Last night the television just could not help but spew depression onto the carpet. American cops, doctors and the nerve jangling Big Brother followed each other and I had to run away and sit upstairs, eating cheesy puffs and reading a good book. Monica can tolerate this stuff, but it makes me so depressed I just want to reach for my golf club and attack the TV. It’s a good job the golf club is in the other room.

I am currently listening to California Rhinoplasty by Matmos. It seems to be made from, amongst other things, samples of someone undergoing deeply invasive plastic surgery. You can hear electric drills whining, bone and cartilage being ground away, suction pipes and the peep of a heart monitor. It’s pretty intense stuff, but also strangely musical, although the squelching noises are a bit off-putting if you’re having your lunch. I can’t imagine what are making the noises near the end. It sounds like the Clangers.

We had a good rehearsal yesterday, which the Ryhsaurus said he “quite enjoyed”; he was sitting in the living room at the time. Good to see that we made an impression. Now I have embarrassed him, bwwooo haa haaahaaaa!

It was hard work though; very hot and pretty tiring. We have been lazy these past few weeks for reasons that escape me and as a consequence the match fitness we acquired in the spring, with the recordings and all the work that went into preparing for them, has faded away a bit. My fingers are actually hurting after yesterday, which is a sign I have become weak and enfeebled. The solutions are simple enough; play more gigs, learn more songs, practice more. It’s funny how complacency can creep in when the sun is shining.

It looks like Rhysaurus will be having his book launch for At The Molehills of Madness in the Dylan Thomas Centre on the 15th of September. He has asked us to play for him, which we have gladly accepted. It should be a really good evening, not least because his publisher is determined to acquire a vast quantity of wine, which will be for drinking. There should be a lot of people coming as well, so we will each feel popular as well.

Before that we have many months of things to find for ourselves to do. I have not booked any gigs for us yet because we have not really learned enough songs to play a whole gig ourselves. But I get the feeling that we will only buckle down and learn them when we have a deadline to meet. Chicken and egg to which there is a simple solution; stop mucking around. For this reason I have decided to appoint a Mucking Around Tsar, whose responsibilities will include finding the causes of mucking around and providing solutions to the mucking around epidemic. Leading candidates are Maurice, Monica and Bob the potted palm.

What a great costume. I just keep laughing.

Remember we have a gig with the King of Despair on Friday, so you’d best be there. We start at 9.15, so come along early and get a good seat.