Exploits of the Frictionless Man as it wanders around the world like some kind of slippery hydra. Music, words and pictures a speciality.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Maybe he was going to read Hello after he had read The Daily Mail.

Guess what I got wrong today? I was supposed to be meeting Mark Hendy (hello Mark) to discuss the upcoming showcase and recording, which has been postponed for a couple of weeks, at the train station at 11 o'clock. Of course I was at a train station at 11 o'clock. But not the right one.... well done me. Sorry Mark.

Saul cooked a fantastic fish and banana curry for us last night, and then we watched The Hitcher with Rutger Hauer. Not with him, he was in the film. Rutger and I are no longer on speaking terms. He owes me a fish supper. It's a long story and I am sure no one is interested in it. Suffice to say he would not do his Denis Bergkamp impression after I had done my Nelson Mandela impression and things got ugly.

I knew a Dutch fellow called Rob. We called him Dutch Rob. He really looked like Denis Bergkamp, so I felt continually compelled to do my Nelson Mandela impression in his presence. Of course back then my Nelson Mandela impression was more like Whitney Houston, or Tommy Cooper depending on whether I used make-up or not. I could also do a mean Salman Rushdie.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

A mean Salman Rushdie? I can do a spiteful Muhammed Ali.

Lee Relfe said...

I can do a sexy Patrick Moore, but it's so good that I have to 'relieve' myself immediately afterwards.

Ardbeg D-H said...

I once wanted to call a band I was in 'Smoked Salman and the Fatwah Fish' but no-one else in the band was up for it.

Remember the Asda 'Bugger your sister' campaign in the '80's?

No?

Me neither?

Lee Relfe said...

I remember an ad campaign with the line, "Everyone knows the saying 'you can't teach your Granny to suck eggs', but maybe she'll suck your cock instead. I think it was an ad for aftershave or chocolates.

Mr Frictionless said...

There was the Woolworths campaign back in 1983 which had the main tagline of: Choke your family on your man filth. They were doing a special on dishwashers, I think.

And then there was the one from Pepsi, "Skull fuck a hooker." With Lisa Stansfield.

Ardbeg D-H said...

ng my favourite all time filthy ad campaign was the "Never mind the Sex Pistols; suck my bollocks" campaign for the short-lived product "Bollock's Fine English Gob Stoppers"

Can't think why they were discontinued.

Mr Frictionless said...

I could have sworn it was Yaz and The Plastic Population who sang "The Only Way is Up."

How about the Amersterdam Tourist Board's ad for the Red Light District: "Fuck the Dutch." They're so liberal.

Lee Relfe said...

And we have a winner!