I have a recurring worry, and now that the duo project is progressing it is recurring with more regularity. I've played a few gigs in my time, with drunks clambering onto stage and trying to seize the mic or the drumsticks or anything they can. Usually the band plays on and someone ushers them away, usually a member of the band and not someone from the venue, oddly enough. But when there will only be two of us and there will be toys to spare, what should I do when the inevitable happens?
The long walks to work have yielded various strategies, which I have reduced to two options.
1. Stop the song and get person to pack it in and sod off.
2. Keep going.
Now, there are pros and cons to each method. In the first instance, the "session musician" might be difficult to shift, especially as anyone who invades a band uninvited has usually had a skin full. Is it worth the inevitable aggravation and discord to play a song the way it was intended, to stop, remove person and start again? Or is it better to let them have their fun and then ask them politely to leave. Either way someone has decided that it is the right thing to do for them to interfere.
It bothers me. Maybe the answer lies in a more definite construction of the old "4th wall"? Make it plain that we are the musicians and we are here on purpose not by accident, and we have a pretty definite job to do, which does not involve the active participation of the audience beyond applause, dancing and singing along to the words when they know them.
On the other hand, maybe I should stop worrying about crazy drunks joining in and concentrate on making music that will mesmerise everyone to the extent that they would not dream of interrupting. If they stay in their seats they can't fiddle with my maracas. Ahem.
8 comments:
I advocate a policy of extreme violence and artistic expression.
Incorporate your live eviceration of the invading twat into your set making it a piece of Damien Hurst-esque performance art.
I recommend tying your tie round your head (or a Thai if you can get one willing enough), stripping naked to the waist, painting your face with charcoal, adopting a crazed look in your eyes and then rip the reverse-stage-diver to pieces with your big knife.
Maybe that was Rambo, not Damien Hurst... I've always confused those two.
I confuse them with impromptu card trick mainly.
"Sly" I say, "Damien" I say, "Pick a card..." I say, "Any fucking card..."
yes. evisceration is the key to effective crowd control. You could just play venues with a raised stage. The climbing technique of the lesser (vomit) spotted Drunk is notoriously poor.
The answer is not to play gigs in a shitty cold wet country full of aggressive idiots who get blind drunk.
Come and play gigs here in Portugal where the audience love music, are always polite and know how to have a good time without getting legless...
I have to say that since I've been here I've heard some phenomenally good new music! You should come here quickly!
How about this? Begin the gig with just one of you on stage, then after a while the other person should leap onto the stage acting as if THEY are the inevitable drunk, then continue with the rest of the gig; the real drunk will think their position has already been filled, and that their sole reason for living has been removed, and with any luck will go and kill themselves.
But what if you get confused and accidentally take all of the above advice? You could end up eviscerating your colleague/ band member/ friend/ compadre in public and in Portugal (where it is unnecessary in any event because of the generally non-drunken non-vomit spotted nature of the audience).
It could all go horribly horribly wrong.
It's all gone a bit quiet here, hasn't it?
Just like Radio 3.
Or a graveyard... (he said obliquely continuing a theme from another forum altogether).
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