Exploits of the Frictionless Man as it wanders around the world like some kind of slippery hydra. Music, words and pictures a speciality.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

PS. I hate the way your bum drags across my grave.

Great news! With impeccable timing I have developed a cold a whole 4 days before we are going to record! Why is it that every time I need to sing somewhere other than the practice room I have a cold or a sore throat? My body hates me, it must do.

So we will be recording Carb Crab instead.

To make matters worse today I will be sitting in a room, a warm room I’ll imagine, listening to a management seminar thing whatsit that I have to go to. So when I’m not snivelling and malingering I’ll be falling asleep. I can fall asleep in the comfort of my own home, I don’t see why they have to drag me all the way here to make me fall asleep. Of course this seminar could be about anything and I would fall asleep, I’ve even fallen asleep in the middle of seminar presentations I have been giving. But that was after a long lunch in the pub. To get over the previous evening in the pub. How do after dinner speakers do it? Maybe they are all talking in their sleep as well.

I just typed that entire last paragraph in my sleep. And that last sentence. And this one.

Close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle close the door clean the handle.

I was wide awake for that last bit, although I am asleep again right now. How confusing.

4 comments:

Hughes the Booze said...

Have you ever fallen asleep during sex (somnambulant insemination rather than 'getting given your P45 for snoring whilst the MD pontificates')?

It's not advisable, whichever lady friend that you are with at the time will tend to take it as a personal slight in my experience.

If you are attached to your bollocks in the emotional as well as the physical sense I would suggest you don't do it.

Mr Frictionless said...

I don't think I have. Maybe it has never been mentioned out of politeness, or relief.

MonkeyChops said...

I've never fallen asleep during sex, though I'm very careful never to wake my partner.

Hughes the Booze said...

Mine only complains if I make her lose her place in her book, so as long as I'm not too energetic she doesn't moan too much. So to speak.