The sun has come out and I have actually been in it. Summertime now please.
Cats have been in the backgarden digging and shitting and digging. Why our garden? There are plenty of gardens around here, the one next door looks like the perfect place for a having a shit, why do they have to disturb our well tended plots? I'll catch the little buggers one day and when I do Daddy's getting some new gloves.
On gardener's question time they are talking about how easy it is to grow chillis. I know Moriston grows chillis, and he says they are growing well. I think I shall do the same and never have a blocked nose again. You can make jam with them you know.
The view out of the window is about half decimated now. You used to be able to see the sea and the quay, but now half of the view is filled by the new SA1 flats, which are interesting but ultimately quite dull. There is a stretch of building site across it all as well, so the sea is definately disappearing. That would be the progress then. I wonder who will be living in the flats? Rich Johnny Come Latelys I surmise and out of town baintnoteefromroundere holiday makers. Not for the likes of us, messir, no sirree bob. I suppose, since I can see them from this room, they count as neighbours, so I can go round and ask to borrow a cup of sugar, and then see how the other half live. Or is it the other 20%? They will probably set their robot assassin giraffes on me and their genetically modified squirrel-lizard-jellyfish-bombs. Bastards. I'll show them, I'll show the lot of them. You're playing God, and he will smite you down. SMITE YOU DOWN!
They have not even pebble dashed the exterior of these things. How do they ever think they will fit in?
Gig on the 25th in the Singleton supporting King of Despair is confirmed, so come along if you'd like to be entertained. Or if you've just been to the Grand Theatre to see a play and want to sip a cool drink whilst you think about it whilst some live music provides a backdrop to your musings. Have it your way, I'm not forcing you. We'll be on at about 8.30pm if you do decide to turn up.
17 comments:
Oi Ross! Got your telegram message t'other night. Thanks for caliing - gave you a call back but I keep getting some dappy bird from NTL. Will have to visit as soon as the sun comes out again - could be a while then!
Hope you doing well with the whole jangly, jangly shenanagens. I will have to come down on an appropriate weekend to do a bit of chin rubbin' and rolly-smokin'. Better get to work on my beard though...
You can borrow mine, I have gone and grown a longer face.
Got you telephone message, cheers. It sounded like you were trying to put your phone into a bag of crisps at the end. I suppose that would be one of them there "new fangled" ways you've gone and acquired. Jar of pickled beetroot not good enough eh?
Yes, I have a new batch of chilli seedlings on the way now (including scotch bonnets-ouch!). Also a few different varieties of peppers, tomatoes, aubergines, basil, parsley - if you fancy some plants when they're big enough let me know. Also planning a bit of a mini festival in my field in the summer just after my pigs go for the chop. Fancy coming over with a tent to roast bits of said pigs over a bonfire? Who knows, we may even end up stripping down to our pants, smearing mud on our faces and leaping over the fire. I'll get to work on the wicca man right away!
Yes please, we would love to come and eat your pets.
It's a deal! See if you can get hold of Edward Woodward...
Did notice in the photomagraphs that you are sporting a bit of face fungus. When is your first gig in the Chattery?
Was probably just eating crisps or possibly dried earwigs because I'm not that advanced to use skype, well I haven't got 'round to buying a headset yet anyway...
Yes, face fungus is part of the plan; I can probably earn 20% more in certain establishments thanks to my chin sweater.
As for the Chattery, I don't think we would appeal to their target audience. We don't sing songs about dungarees and moustaches, if you will.
Ahh The Chattery. That brings back some good memories... how is Nigel these days?
These new SA1 flats sound like a bloody eyesore. Still, you'll be able to go around beating youths with your walking stick and saying "I remember when all of this wasn't fields!"
Growing your own sounds like a good idea in so many ways, but sounds like hard work and effort may be required so I won't do that if you don't mind.
Can I come and eat your pets too, Mr Burns?
Of course you can. And you'd be surprised how much fun you can have scattering seed over the ground. Or maybe you wouldn't.
This gathering I'm planning seems like it might turn into a bit of a mini festival, so I'm thinking of calling it Leestock, or Leetonbury, or Isle of Lee, or Lee in the Park, or The Lee festival, or Relfing, or Relfdown. There, I think I've got most of them.
Monsters of Relf. Leefest. The Lee Relf Jazz Festival.
Will there be face painting, and horrible smelly filthy hippies?
Build it and they will come. Oh yes.
No, there won't be any horrible filthy smelly self-righteous arrogant boring violent hippies or any 'new age' bullshit that you can get at festivals, but I will be asking people not to piss in the hedges and there are to be strictly no drugs allowed............HAHAHAHAAAAAA! HA!
Just thought of another one: Leelapalooza
In deference to the sacrifice the pigs make, couldn't it be called Pork-Stock... wouldn't that help you make a soup(er name)...?!
HA HA HA!!!
You cunt. Please cuff yourself three times.
I will be honouring the pig's sacrifice by using every single piece of the carcass - so you can expect plenty of delicious nose soup and cock jelly.......mmmmmmm, cock jelly.
Can't you make pork-sword souffle instead?
That's just silly.
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