The gig went really well last night. It was probably the best performance we have given so far; I certainly felt the most comfortable I have singing and playing. Now all I need to do is stop burping in "Lay it Down" and things will be really swinging. Duuuude. The King of Despair were excellent, despite Huw's mind being on the imminent arrival of his baby. Hopefully we will be playing with them again soon, so watch this space.
We have been offered a gig tomorrow night in the Inferno in the Uplands with "The Death of Chapman Baxter". Come along and shake your thing, it should be good.
Other news includes:
In a further advancement of the ID card project the government will be initiating a series of “Soul Scans”, the information from which will be added to the fingerprints, photographs, retina scans, rectal clinching, genital swabs, improvised poetry, acrobatic performance videos and “Hot or Not” information which the card will contain in an easy to decipher, forge and sell to Coca Cola format.
The “Soul Scan Information” or “SSinfo” will capture information about citizens’ souls which will be used for a variety of purposes. Reincarnated souls will be assessed for their suitability, with souls that are found to have a dubious track record being gathered into special “Soul Adjustment Colleges” which are currently being built in Dartmoor. These colleges are set to house roughly 2 million individuals in specially designed “hovels” which will have the most up to date lack of sanitation and services. They will undergo rigorous “Soul Education” until they are deemed ready to reincarnate in normal society. A new rail link is also being planned, although a name is not yet forthcoming.
Non reincarnating souls will be assessed according to a 17 point means test, which is being drawn up by the Home Office. This will allow security officials to track the activities of those souls deemed to be “high risk” such as those souls belonging to foreigners or homosexuals or the Irish.
Schools will be introducing “Soul Coaching” sessions into the curriculum. Religious leaders have apparently hailed the move as “absolutely fan-fucking-tastic.” Faith based schools will obviously have an advantage in this field, but given related government plans most schools will be faith based by the time the ID card scheme is fully operational.
An awareness campaign will be launched in September this year. “Soul Smart” will be aimed at increasing the profile of the soul and raising soul related issues such as soul abuse, soul health and soul poverty. Sir Cliff Richard will be reunited with Hank Marvin of the Shadows to release a song in support of the campaign. “Our Souls” will be released initially on a special “Soul Cast” that will be accessible to anyone who has become a “Soul Subscriber”. This will operate much like the currant TV licence and will involve a small charge of £150 a year, with a 10% discount for the blind, the deaf and the soulless.
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