Exploits of the Frictionless Man as it wanders around the world like some kind of slippery hydra. Music, words and pictures a speciality.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Mostly whelk grease, with a hint of "Authentic Flavouring".

I have new shoes! I know that usually I go through something of a saga regarding shoes and I tell you all about it, but this time I was cool and decisive and when a hole appeared in my current pair I was off to the shoe shop the next day. This is unheard of efficiency and I hope that it is a good omen. I also bought myself a new pair of jeans, since the last ones got ripped by Hugo the Cat, who also farted on me.

So tonight I am going to see the King of Despair play in the Singleton Hotel wearing my New Clothes. Going out in New Clothes is a rare event so I am really quite cheerful. Thank goodness it will be raining so I will still look like shit when I get there. Moderating!

I wrote a CV for the Frictionless Man today; or rather I put the stuff from the website on a piece of paper and called it a CV. We need a CV for the British Council apparently. The only half decent picture I had for it was one of Monica and me drinking tea and eating cake in the back garden. Some may think “quirky” I say “leisured”.

Dream news: Last night I had a dream about the cake I have in our fridge. It a lovely Danish chocolate cake that I bought from a supermarket the other day. It is filled with strawberry jam. For some reason I still have not had any of it. But in my dream I was slicing off pieces as big as our TV and scoffing them down so fast I bit off the tips of my fingers. I think this must be a warning; I must work out a system that will tell me where cake ends and fingers begin. I wonder if there is already a system about which I can modify to my needs. How, for instance, do you know when you have finished eating a tongue sandwich? I shall write to my MP and request of him an information leaflet or handbill.

10 comments:

Don Frictionless said...

Where does cake end and fingers start? It´s called pain - stupid!

Anyhow Mr. Frictionless can you tell me how they managed to train all those hippos to swim round in a circle?

Does the NHS have a monopoly on MRSA in the UK?

If you can end up in court for over-feeding your dog can you be hauled up before the bench for having an obese kid?

How many whelks do you need for a kilo of grease?

rhysaurus said...

Prick.

Don Frictionless said...

Is that the answer? Or is it either the name given to one who doesn´t know when cake ends and fingers begin or the ramblings of someone with nothing better to do at 2 in the morning?

morriston burns said...

Who is this masked man...?

Don Frictionless said...

Zzzzzzzzz

morriston burns said...

No really, who the fuck are you? Were the zzzzzz's meant to suggest my comment was boring? If so, cheers. I know how easy it is to take people's comments the wrong way on blogs when you're not speaking face to face, but most of your comments have been a little 'arsey'. Please tell me if I am mistaken.

Mr Frictionless said...

You're not the only one Morriston. I'm getting a little sick of this guy as well.

Don Frictionless said...

I am what I am - not a hospital ward! koo koo catchu!

Don Frictionless said...

Anyhow morriston burns. Does the NHS have sole rights to MRSA or what?

morriston burns said...

You can answer my question first.