Exploits of the Frictionless Man as it wanders around the world like some kind of slippery hydra. Music, words and pictures a speciality.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Don't cry, it's only a bicycle.

It has been an interesting weekend, and this week promises to be full of popular politics and plenty of soundbites. Seems the people have been motivated to get on their feet and do some sloganeering and marching. Good for the people.

Now would be a good time for everyone to go to Wikipedia and clue up on what its all about. It occurred to me that whilst the G8 has been demonised by all the right-ons, I didn't know who the members were, or really what they do. Furthermore, I'm not sure I understand precisely how the Common Agricultural Policy works, or why it is so bad. And I wonder: what do banks actually do, and why can't I start one of my own?

So many questions, so little time to find it all out, and so little encouragement to make any use of it once you know.

Wrote a song yesterday, just like I am supposed to. It's called "Let us see". Now, I don't really like talking about what songs are about, although I seem to keep doing it, so I suppose I do like doing it. Or maybe I just like to be asked. It's nice to think someone is showing an interest. I think the Queen would be great to have as a fan. She always seems interested. And she's always clean.

I have been told "the author is dead" so I suppose it doesn't matter what it is about since you'll all be right no matter what rubbish you come up with. So I'll give you a guide: it's about opticians.

For anyone who believes authors are still alive the key is in the words I sing and the notes we play.

Of course if I was one of those cool artists you read about in Rolling Stone or the like I could smile enigmatically when someone asks me and simply reply "do you think so?" I'll practice in the mirror.

"Do you think so?"

"Do you think so?"

"Do you think so?"

and on and on and on and on and on......

18 comments:

morriston burns said...

What does that mean, 'the author is dead'? I read a book the other day, and judging by the text I seriously doubt whether the bloke who wrote it was dead when he wrote it. He may be now though. Which author do they mean? And who are THEY? People who say these things should be careful, someone may take them seriously. And literally as I just did. I'm ok now, though you had me worried for a minute; I thought I was going to have to think. Ok I'm being obtuse, but I'm not in the mood for hopelessness.....

Mr Frictionless said...

I'm in the mood for hopelessness,
Bob Hopelessness
And giving fine art away...

morriston burns said...

Ah, the Nolans; your biggest influence?

Mr Frictionless said...

I spent 3 months in a kabuttz with the Irish harpies! Always nicking my hairspray as well, bastards.

Planxsty Warp Vehicle said...

That Morriston Burns is a fool. I read "Elective Affinities" by Goethe to my six year old the other day and I am fairly sure that Mr Goethe is dead as a dodo. It is perfectly possible for an author to be both an author and dead, as Goethe so eloquently proves. Mr Burns is a fool, I rest my cock.

Mr Frictionless said...

So they can be dead, but don't actually have to be dead in order to be an author? That's a perk!

I read Gunter Grass to my poinsettia and its positively thriving.

The other trick with poinsettias is once the leaves have started falling off, cut the whole plant pretty severely. They make lovely houseplants, their foliage is quite fascinating once the showboating we get over Christmas has calmed down.

morriston burns said...

Oh dear, I do believe someone took me a little too seriously (namely 'planxsty warp vehicle'). I thought it was perfectly obvious that I was being light hearted, ironic, deliberately obtuse for comic effect e.t.c. You see, I don't really care who thinks I'm clever and don't have to prove it to anyone, unlike someone who claims to read Goethe to their six year old. I don't really like being called a fool though, especially by someone like that who badly needs to both lighten up and get a life. Oh well, good job we're all anonymous with our jolly pirate nick-names or it might get ugly and that definitely wouldn't be clever would it?

Mr Frictionless said...

Ooh eck, calm down calm down. You know who it is anyway, its that bloke who wears all that denim and has more shoes that his wife.

I imagine he has more shoes than his wife. And he is the sort to read Goethe to his kids. He probably insists on playing them endless amounts of Phillip Glass and then wonders why they are crying all the time....

Mr Frictionless said...

Additional point, just to make sure everyone understands;

Morriston said that when the bloke wrote it he was alive.

Planxsty says by the time he got to read it the author was dead.

What have we learned? Authors die but reading books is no where near as good as chasing ducks in long grass.

Now be nice or I'll skin the pair of yersss.

morriston burns said...

Ah, now I understand. All that because I didn't know who he was. Now maybe he'll realise how easily he offends people! Anyway, everything's alright now, we're all friends. (and I know where the bastard lives)

morriston burns said...

Oh and by the way Mr clever penis, I know it's possible for an author to be both an author and dead, but they sure as hell ain't gonna be writing any more books are they? I despair, I really do... This is case in point of someone actually being too clever for their own good!

morriston burns said...

I bet he'll try and wriggle out of it now. That's him, wriggle, wriggle, (squirm)wriggle. Ergh, what a thought.

Mr Frictionless said...

Like a duck chasing a worm in long grass.

Quack quack wriggle wriggle quack quack wriggle wriggle...

Planxsty Warp Vehicle said...

I'll say it again. THAT MORRISTON BURNS IS A BIG FOOL !!! And I don't play Philip Glass to my kids. That's so passe. I play them Steve Reich and Stockhausen on a 24 hour loop. Yes I do have more shoes than both my wife, Morriston bloody Burns and everybody elses' wife put together in a big giant wife monster living sculpture of wives.

morriston burns said...

If you ever buy your own house, you could let the lawn go fallow, buy a few ducks and I get the feeling you'd be happy for the rest of your life. Or until then, if you could get hold of one duck, you can come and have a test run in my back garden (at least it'll save me the bother of mowing it).

morriston burns said...

Dear Planxsty,
meh me meh mehme meh me meme meh mehmeh memeeeeh.

Planxsty Warp Vehicle said...

You going on about yourself again, eh Morriston? Yah big fool.

morriston burns said...

Takes one to know one! (Yes! What a brilliant rejoinder, I've always wanted to use that!)