It's been a week for wet feet. Even after my endeavors with the superglue and PVA I have a leak in my right shoe. Not as massive a leak as before, but a palpable leak. You might wonder why I mention it, but I walk quite some way each week and what with the extra hours I'm doing and the recent monsoon my attention is drawn ever footwards. You may still be wondering why I mention it. You may continue to wonder......
As all of you have internet connections of some sort, why don't you try logging onto the Volts Show and voting us into the top 20. Go on. I'd do the same for you.
If you still have not listened to it go over to the Frictionless Man website, and download "Night". It's dead good.
11 comments:
That's very kind of you monkeychops, cheers for that.
Do you want payment for that, like when we got those lactating nuns round the other night and they charged us 40 stinking bucks?
And then they tied us up in the bath together and robbed all the crucifixes in the whole of the apartment block.
Still, I think they fancied me a little bit more than you! don't you think?
By the way, they took my ultrasonic clam massager as well, unless I left it round yours after we were tickling those cyclical mares.
Too right it can. There's a girl in my street and whever I use it in my house it sets her right off on one and she lives across the way and down two. Her flatmates have to have quite a few buckets on hand I can tell you.
The clip of 'Night' is frustratingly short and doesn't give much of a feel for the band. So far all I've heard of you (stuck, as I am, in the frozen North) is three chords and some gentle drum beats.
I WANT MORE GODDAMMIT!!!
Sorry to be sensible, but couldn't some of these extra hours at work help towards a NEW PAIR OF SHOES? Ah, but I suppose we wouldn't then be treated to the fascinating tales of your leaky shoes, and we couldn't do without those, could we?
Yes Mum.
I still want more. If I promise to buy you a new pair of shoes, or teach you the ancient tribal art of nailing a banana skin over the hole in the old ones to form a hermetic seal, will you please send me a CD? I may even be able to hoik it around the area and get you GIGS OOP NORTH.
!!!!
I don't believe you have ever played a gig oop north; I was under the impression that if you strayed more than a couple of miles from home you would shrivel, then crumble into dust.
I really did play oop north on a few occasions, and I even played at a club where Jimi Hendrix once played so ner-ne-ner. He was suspiciously absent on the night I was there, the miserable sod, but he was there in spirit; yes, they were selling whisky shots with a real hair from his head in each one. This meant you could drink to the memory of one of your musical heroes with the added possibility of choking on the hair and dying in a similar way - great!
"So what?", I hear you cry..(that's worrying, I can really hear it..), "It's not like you actually played with Hendrix himself". Yeah I know, THAT would be something to be proud of, not simply playing in the same place he once did, or looking at the same bus stop he once did, or flying over the same country he once did etc.... I'm not proud of it, I just thought it was quite interesting at the time, so up yours, stupid head voices.
And I think you secretly quite enjoy it when your finger goes through the toilet paper. Yeah, you like that, don't you, you bitch...
As for Fric' man, we could all club together and buy him some new shoes, or alternatively we could all club him together until he buys some new shoes. (For a slightly different version of that joke, please see below...)
As for Fric' man, we could all have a whip round and buy him some new shoes, or alternatively we could all have him roundly whipped until he buys some new shoes.
So, which one do you prefer? Write your answer on a postcard, bury it at the bottom of the nearest quarry and never mention this to anyone ever again or I will end you, you toilet.
(I've had a lot of coffee this morning, that's why)
Also, I would really love it if someone would open a dog grooming parlour and call it 'Doggie Style'. That would be great wouldn't it? Please will someone do this, I can't be bothered.
I once made a small kite. I once played a small mite. I once flayed a small pike. I once weighed a small tripe. I once paid a small dike. I once sprayed a mall white. I once aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
There was a cartoon on ITV when I was a child which contained, within it's opening sequence, the lines "Up North, where it's boring and slow." This was accompanied by rows of grey houses. Iconic.
Mr Frictionless, I hope you don't think That I would actually like you to be clubbed or whipped; it was merely 'witty' wordplay.
Wuv oooooo
Witty schmitty. You're a brute Burns, a low down 'onnery dawg. Love ooooh.
Post a Comment